My holiday trip home left me feeling a bit bummed.
I was thrilled to see my family and my closest girl friends from high school, Gina and Jackie, but I got some really bad news, and some good news too, which is still kind of sad (if that makes sense.) Also Jason and I were apart and I got a nasty stomache flu. Ick!
My friend Anthony has been the most important man in my life, next to my dad and my grandpa since I was in middle school. He's really important to me. He has spent Christmas dinner with my family every year since we were probably sophomores in high school, has been my constant ski companion, the missing son in my family of girls.
When he joined the army out of high school, I was as supportive as I could be knowing that there was a war going on. I was worried and angry at the president and I wished everyday that I could spit in that suckers eye.
That was about 6 years and two tours to the middle east ago, and I've been able to accept that this is a job he signed up for, regardless of how dangerous it is, and how much it sucks, he chose to do something selfless, which ultimately makes me really proud of him.
The day I came home I found out that he got engaged, which is amazing. She was one of three friends I had on my cheerleading squad in high school (I know, it's hard to believe! I was paranoid about college, so I did every extracurricular on the planet.) I'm so happy he has found a girl who makes him happy.
He's leaving for Iraq again on January 7th and I was the last to know. Also he's getting married before he leaves, and I'm not going to be able to attend.
I got the stomach flu.
And on top of that, I didn't even get to say goodbye to him because he was too busy snowboarding and ignoring my phone calls and texts. I know he doesn't realize he is being jerky, but he is acting so out of character. I don't even know what's up.
I knew this day would come and that Anthony would get married and Gina and I would have to bite the bullet a little. But I was expecting us to maybe lose a pinky toe instead of a freaking leg.
Is it bad and selfish of me to be so upset about this? I feel really guilty for feeling angry at him before he leaves for Iraq again, but I'm just so sad he didn't care enough to say goodbye to me.
I'm sorry for the rant.
I'm just so so sad and hurt.